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| seriously im going to try and update this thing, not like anyone reads it anymore. really have been doing much of nothing, went to the ohh so great philipines. The poverty, yes.... the POVERTY is amazing..not just sad, but beautiful. There... they make the best of it. the BEST of WHAT THEY HAVE. amazing... isn't it? Came back, to much of the same things, life going past you as usual. thinking that maybe time would have stopped while I was away. But who the fuck am I? lots can happen over the course of two and one half weeks. GOOD LOTS. shes got it through my head. a small message that re-runs.somthing that could be nothing or nothing that could be something. It puts contradiction to the belief that " Some Men- all they want out of life really is SEX, and after that is over, you have to talk a bit, right?" | | |
| yesterday... again.. priceless
In the morning, went to my cousin ECHO'ss first
birthday party in Burien ..it was absolutely precious. The whole
family was there and I got to see my best friend... ahh.. it's so great
to see her. I miss her dearly.. I miss family... Sometimes I wish I
could spend more time with them.. because I don't even get to stay long
at parties or what not. Yesterday I came and dropped off my mom, tita
dong, tita mayet and my grandma. I basically came and ate. eat
and run Then I went on my way back to the renton/skyway area
to attend Robyn's Debut practice. It was short but, sweet. Got the
chance to talk to Alan about how Kentwood's prom was. hah! he spent
more on thier prom than at ours. I'm glad he had fun. Alan's fun, he
cheers me up when I am down. " Turn that frown upside down" Funny
because we were chatting as we danced and I swear you can never talk
when you are dancing. I messed up! whoops. but yes....I never
talked about prom. Alan was a great prom date, I wouldn't have traded
it for the world. It was so fun.. just messing around dancing and
singing on the dance floor. Purely fun. I didn't mind dancing with him
the whole time.. I didn't feel Obligated to dance
with him because he was my date. There was no uncomfortable feelings. I
actuall didn't mind dancing with him. NO freaking at all.Absoulutely no bootie in the wang wang Purely
giddish! Im glad I went with him.
Anyways after debut practice I went back to burien to pick up the fam. Then headed to the 40 day death anniversary of my great grandma.
Its that whole filipino tradition where after the death of someone you
do prayer for a couple of days and then after 40 days you pray again.
Seeing the whole family always brightens my day. It always makes me
laugh to see my uncles and aunties singing karaoke while drinking. Randomly leaving the karaoke scene to get yet another shot of Don Julio, one by one Fun times.. all the family got up to sing YMCA.. and guess what? on magic mic, we scored 100! yeah!! Our family rocks.
I headed upstairs to have a little chat with vanessa and andrea! that
time was spent wonderfully and could only be described as Priceless. Then headed home to drop off the ladies. Most of all, I headed home to take a POOter. Then headed off to Andra's Birthday Party. Happy Birthday, Andra.
Met up with Spesial Shoup, Xman, and Mystery Man. It brought a smile to my face to see, Xman again. Spending time with my dear Soulmate
and them was simply WUNDERFUL! Great times. Ronald and Junichi came by
to grab some Tylenol because poor, Junichi was sick.. Then we headed
off to McDonalds to get some grub. Hella funny how Rabie ordered the
food. Jamie copied me by getting the exact thing I got. McNuggets, Fries and a drink.
It varies with how many nuggets, the size of fries and the kind of
drink. But the reality of it all is that it's basically the same. Then,
we went to Seward Park to munch it all down. i Called up Alanski Banski
because he made me promis I would call him to make sure I was ok, and
not off somewhere puking in a toilet. NICE, huh? Headed off to
JOIZZLE'S so that Rabie could finally see her. Fell asleep and Jamie
drove home. Went inside and decided to watch Gladiator. Started to
watch it but, fell asleep. It was fun.. Fell asleep, and the last thing
on my mind was, " This night was SPLENDID" | | |
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yesterday which was friday was boring yet fun. Basically spent the whole day at Joelle's. It was well spent. Just sat there basically getting ring tones. I swear , Ronald, Junichi, Joelle and I
were the flip phone crew. Sitting there getting ring tones. We're
fucking loosers. Hella funny though. Just plain fun. Got a chance to
chat with a beautiful lady named Joelle. Yes both
beautiful in and out. yeah later on we headed to Walmart to get a cell
phone charger for ronald. Then, went to JoIzzles. Eventually, the guys
left but then came back because they missed us and Ryan stopped by.
Ryan was hilarious. got me rolling because he was drunk. Then the clock
hit 11:45 and I had to go home.. I know I know.. early! yeah
but there wasn't much to do anyways. On my way out, devin comes by. On
my way home I thought to myself... I had a good time. I swear from 4pm
to 11:45 pm we just sat there messing with our phones. The day was just
priceless. | | |
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Been thinking...again all the time. Id be lying if I said that I was doing fine. Its not that Im not ok, I'm just in a STILL mode. Just been cranky about it all. been loosing a lot and its not my temper. But then again I think to myself and " SHIT HAPPENS"
and then you move on, but fuck.. some things that are just so dear to
your heart don't just come and go that easily. I know Ive been a
headache these past few days in more ways than one. The last debut
practice was well spent but the whole time I was just not feeling
it .Been cranky because it looks like it was all my fault, at the last
debut practice. man he just got angry. Ahh I felt bad because its
Robyn's debut...she doesn't need anymore headache Dude.. some of it was
my fault but damn...ive done
enough to make ammends and its all up to him.We both act like kids
I've never really gotten hit in the face.. sure it hurts one way but it hurts way more, the other way.
Shit.. im still mad because he elbowed me in my face and it was the
first time we actually physically fought. and shit... that stuff left
emotional scars and physical scars. We fought. He socked me and I
socked him. It hurt .Again..we act like kids Now im just Blah.
Those few words meant a lot ..... "my best friend"
never forgotten and never replaced. But then again words mean one thing
to one person while it means something else to another. I always catch
myself thinking about it... Its not what he thought that I was
thinking. But yet he believed what he thought..somethings just
happen... I can't depend on anyone to be by my side for all eternity.
In the end all I have is myself eventhough it gets lonely... and at
this stage..It is unbelievably lonely. But its not the lonely
that people talk about when they say I want someone.... someone
special. Someone to hold hands with, embrace and feel content with. But
thats NOT what I want at all. All I wanted was him... to be
solely him, himself, to have fun with, to crack jokes with, to check
horoscopes with, to argue with about who was older, to say "looooooser"
to, the OLD him, Always wanted him....MY BEST FRIEND.But
yet, we changed. We both changed a lot. I grew apart never really
taking into consideration how much he meant to me. Untill , I really
couldn't be that "opposite soulmate" anymore. But I was happy...
Genuinely happy that he could be happy. Never wanted anything less for
him, than for him to be happy.I never knew what to say when he was
hurt... Just sat there hoping he knew that I was just here to listen. I
felt hopeless at times, when I felt like I could do NOTHING. What was I
to do. I was just a bad friend, doing my own thing. But yet.. at a time
like this when things can't go my way.... I get mad, hurt, disappointed
and overall SELFISH.Secretly
I know everyone sits there as I
cry, bitch and complain about it all. and I know they secretly think
that my feelings aren't just of a friend, but of a girl, "IN LIKE". But
its so much more than that inside. its just him... being the opposite
soulmate. But friends may come and go.. and selfishness never gets its
wishes. And ultimately, I was my own screw up.Im the type of person
that believes she makes an effort to mend and heal all wounds, no
matter how deep. But many times im left broken hearten, myself in a
room, leaving a door open, waiting for someone to come in. In the
past...they never go through the entrance of that door.I just need to
realize that some things that end up broken, never can be fixed. so all
of it falls down and my heart hurts. For different occasions, tmoney, opposite soulmate, Mr.bigmouth, and Swimming whale. ahh I need chicken.
Love,"miss drama" | | |
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